Thursday, August 29, 2013

How To Get Hit On at the Supermarket in Six Steps

  1. Take six walks with six dogs. The hotter the day, the better.
  2. Be certain to you've been sweating... a lot! I mean, sweating so much that your eyelids are sticking to themselves when you blink.
  3. Make sure you got sloppy kisses from no less than three of the dogs you walked so you smell like dog breath.
  4. Wear your most bedraggled work-shirt. The more stains and holes, the better!
  5. Wear a big floppy hat over your very messy hair.
  6. Make eye contact, 'cause you always do, and smile.

This should allot you at least a, "hey!" from a strapping young man and maybe even wink from a lovely young woman.
But if you're lucky... if your very, very lucky, you might even get a, "how ya doing? You're looking sexy, baby!" or maybe even a stocker telling you about a deal at another store on something you're about to purchase.